MILFS is an incredibly popular term that is defined as Mother I’d like to Fuck. A recent addition to the sexual spectrum there was a period in time where MILF’s were classified as sexless and a desexualized human individual whereby she was stripped of wantonness, lust and femininity in favor of a caring individual whose primary function was to raise offspring. MILFs are in direct violation of the sexual fashion paradigm which is typically seen as youth is beauty. Not all young women grow up to be a desirable MILF, but these days a majority of women retain their sexual being and sexual power even after childbirth – to the point where her sexuality and sexual nature is emphasized.
Anyone that has perused online for pornographic material or browsed their local Adult Store will notice the abundance of films and erotic stories dedicated to the appreciation of MILF listed as part of the categories of porn. In surprising news, Pornhub statistics indicate that MILF searches are the third most popular search term, behind ‘HD Porn’, and ‘teen porn’, what’s even more surprising is that the term used for the search doesn’t involve threesomes, or blowjob but rather a singular and familial term; mom.
MILF has risen in popularity and been driven to the forefront, arguably, by popular culture and Hollywood. The first MILF appearing on screen was as a result of the carnal and sexual education of a young college graduate (played by Dustin Hoffman) in the hugely popular and successful 1967 film, The Graduate. Which sees a sultry middle aged mother (played by Anne Bancroft engaging in sexual relations with a much younger man due to a failed marriage. The success of this film ushered in a new wave of pornographic films in the 70’s and 80s which saw older women offering sexual instruction to much younger men. It quickly became a staple of the adult industry but never really had a name until it was popularized by the comedy American Pie.
The mother of the sexually charged Stifler was certainly not to be confused with your average suburban mother and her sexiness, arousal and straight up sexual prowess launched the acronym MILF into the language of mainstream. From that point, MILF awareness and popularity has only surged forward with demand increasing. Indeed, the popularization of MILFs has seen actresses such as Nina Hartley have their careers renewed to their ability to portray MILFs and engage in sexual activities with younger men. Indeed only recently, despite achieving recognition and fame in the 80’s, she received MILF performer of the year, a testament to her popularity as a performer of MILF scenes.
So the question then becomes, what is the male fascination when it concerns MILFs? One of the first ideas that has been raised concerns the story of Oedipus which is an ancient Greek story told by Sophocles. This story sees, in a series of unfortunate events and twists, the son Oedipus sleeping and marrying with his mother Jocasta. The Oedipus complex, coined by Sigmund Freud and named after the story, is a complex with which Freud describes as a phase that all young boys go through. This theory also explains, in part, the rise of DILF’s and their homosexual equivalent. DILF’s remain a popular pornographic search term for young gay men, and female teenagers. The argument, according to Freud, is that all young boys will go through a phase whereby they will desire their mothers in a sexual fashion and hate their fathers for the attention that their mother gives them. The theory goes on to suggest that most young men will outgrow this stage when they compete for the affection and attention of their mother and ultimately lose in favor of their father. Freud goes on to argue that this often manifests itself into seeking a mate later on in life which closely resembles their mother.
Could it be then that the attraction to the idea of MILF’s ultimately stems from Freud’s theory? In the sense that MILF attraction relates to some form of unresolved or repressed desires as a result of the Oedipus complex? Unlikely. Since Freud, there have been many studies that have centered on this theory with which have discovered very little scientific evidence to support the claim.
The research that was conducted brought forth an alternative; that being that younger guys ultimately see a MILF as being more sexually voracious than their peers. This theory draws its roots from the accepted belief that women reach a sexual peak much later in life than young men. Where men achieve their peak in their mid-twenties, women will not achieve that peak until their mid to late thirties. This in turn leads to the idea that two individuals in their sexual peak will form a better match for all the hormones racing through each other’s bodies.
There is further research which supports this. Alfred Kinsey, a widely publicized sexologist who continually brought forward ground breaking theories on men and women, sexuality and arousal, found that women in their 30’s were having far more orgasms and higher levels of sexual satisfaction than any other female age group. This research has continued, with the more recently published Personality and Sexual Differences publishing that women aged between 30 and 45 recorded the most thoughts about sexual activity as they went through day to day life, reported a higher interest in casual sex in the absence of relationships, and more frequent sexual activity than any other age group. The authors of this study concluded that women were reaching their sexual peak at this age, to make the most out of the fertility and biological clock which would begin slowing down around this age. The need to procreate, and engage in riskier sexual behaviors was as a result of the desire to have children. Coincidentally, because young men are considered to have enormous sexual appetites, they would subsequently become the targets for this sexual desire and need for procreation. Young men are considered to be healthier, and more fertile than the woman’s peers.
It should be noted, however, that the differences are not that significant. The research did not suggest that these women would become hypersexual or become the equivalent of a young horny teen male. If that was the case, then 30 year old women would most likely be rushing to their nearest toy stores to grab themselves a chest full of luxury vibrators. The research merely suggested that they were identified to be slightly more sexual than their older and younger counterparts. The research also noted that there was only assumed to be a correlation with the biological clock, and that a second reason could simply be that women at this age were becoming more sexually confident, sexually aware and more assertive with their age. This does fit in with the idea of the MILF because in almost all cases of MILF porn, it is the woman who initiates, or succumbs and directs the sexual activity with their younger mate. This is the primary way in which MILF porn differs from most other porn genres, in the sense that it is driven and guided by the female stars power and dominance.
A research study which was published in the Journal of Sex Researchanalyzed a selection of 50 MILF videos and 50 Teen videos from various popular porn websites and discovered some interesting facts. Females in MILF porn were nearly 3 times more likely to be the sexual initiator and almost ten times more likely to be the one in control of the pace and the direction of the sexual activity and scene. In addition to this, MILF porn would often see the woman in a position of power over the male by role playing bosses, teachers, judges with the male being depicted as cleaners, students and criminals. It is therefore clear that confidence therefore is one of the main characteristics which makes MILFs to be so appealing.
The argument could then be made that some of the sexual attraction to MILF’s is as a direct result of the power that they hold. This might be seen as an extension of a chaste or cuckolded male (also hugely popular), which sees a dominant female taking sexual charge. For some men then, the attraction to MILFs might be attributed to the changing nature of the gender structure within the workforce which is seeing women attaining and keeping positions of power over younger males. Or alternatively, as in the case of the dominant female, it might simply be an expression of the desire to be controlled and to submit to a more powerful individual which is a common fantasy of men and younger men in particular. This is supported by further research which concluded that 15% of surveyed men recorded or acted on fantasies about being the submissive sexual partner in the previous 3 months.
There’s still the other 75% of that spectrum, some of which might be into MILF’s and some might not be. Psychologist David Ley makes the suggestion that it’s not always about the idea of power and submission, and the interest of MILFs might stem from a far simpler perspective and opinion. In his book, The Myth of Sex Addiction, he makes the case that men might be drawn to older women because they feel that it is much easier to sexually please a woman that is confident about her body, knows what she wants, how to get it, and isn’t afraid of asking for it. Men are drawn to the idea of successfully giving sexual pleasure, indeed a lot of performance issues result in a ‘failure’ to give their sexual partner pleasure and they take that failure on as performance anxiety. If you’re then with a woman, who knows exactly how her body works, isn’t afraid to be more adventurous then that would ultimately increase the success rate of sexual satisfaction and pleasure. In effect, it’s an easy way out.
David Ley also believes that some of the appeal lies within the attainability of an older female. The fact that they’re a bit older than the typical porn star, means that they won’t necessarily have perfect features, or perfect skin. MILFs therefore run the real possibility of being someone at the local store. Which, Ley argues, is a powerful fantasy and form of excitement for men as they want to imagine and reenact a sexual fantasy with a realistic and attainable woman as opposed to an immaculate doll.
In this regards, it is ironic and surprising that the label MILF has become synonymous with this style of genre. Confidence is the overriding feature of all the women in this genre, and not their ‘mom’ status or whether or not they’ve had kids. Sure, the idea of them having kids does indicate a certain element of fertility which some men might find unconsciously arousing, but the point is primarily that MILF porn isn’t necessarily about Moms. It’s simply about women who are sexually confident, comfortable with their bodies and do not mind taking charge.