Having Mature Sex & Relationship Advice
Having Mature Sex is one of those things that only stops when you want it to. As you age, your sex drive may go down. Your body might not be as receptive to arousal as it once was and you might have to make accommodations for things that were once deemed to be easy.
But that doesn’t mean that you should stop having sex.
Sex can be a powerful tool to ones wellbeing and to ensuring that they’re remaining active and healthy. It isn’t just for the young anymore. You might need to use a bit of extra lubricant, or spend some extra time in an expression of love and focus on foreplay. But that only gives you extra time to explore the types of love that you have for your partner. Your kids might have left the house, and you might have a lot more privacy than what you used to. It’s time for restarting the sex drive.
Are you going to squander that playing scrabble and drinking gin?
Getting Older & Enjoying Sex
Yes, sex over 50 can be challenging. It presents its own unique set of issues and problems. You might find yourself upset or dismayed at the fact that you’re getting older and the issues that affect your health and sexuality as you get older.
These problems are not insurmountable. Adult Lifestyle Centre now cater towards older couples. With an understanding of your body and your sexuality and arousal, you can not only consider getting sex toys. But you can also still find great enjoyment in sex.
With some understanding, patience and communication you can by all means still enjoy a fulfilling sex life. It’s not about the age, it’s about the desire.
Sex at Any Age
We all need intimacy, as the need for intimacy doesn’t dissipate with age or time.
New studies have recently emerged which confirm that the body can still function for sexual activity. Regardless of age and gender, it will just need a little bit of extra time, attention and appreciation to enjoy. Of course, it might not feel the same. Sex in your late teens and early twenties is never going to feel the same as sex in your 60’s. But there are certainly ways in which it can feel better.
As a mature adult you’re certainly wiser
Than what you were in your younger years. You’ve probably come to terms with what works best for you and for your sex life. You might be feeling far more sexually confident and at ease with your body than what you might have felt when you were younger. This translates into vast amounts of self-awareness as they’re set free from the constraints of the unrealistic ways of thinking when it concerns beauty and youth.
With the children now older, you’ll find yourself with a lot more time on your hands, to be able to relax, and enjoy each other’s company without the distractions.
Reasons Why You Might be Stressed About Mature Sex
There are a number of reasons why the idea of sex stresses people out as they age and they become ‘disinterested’ in sex.
- It might be from a mindset of failure and/or embarrassment. Idea that their genitals are no longer functioning as they once were and therein lies the idea of performance issues.
- Others are affected by illnesses, diseases, or are dealing with the loss of their partner.
Without communication and without facts what was once deemed a temporary situation has now turned into a long lasting situation. This can be avoided through being proactive.
This article is important to read whether you’re looking to restart the sex life, improve your sex life or just generally learn to become more comfortable with mature sex. You’ll need to approach this article with a genuine sense of curiosity and an open mind.
Give new things a chance and ask for professional help if it is necessary. With accurate information, and support, enjoying sex after your fifties can enrich the emotional, spiritual and sensual parts of your life and sexuality.
Benefits of Mature Sex
As a mature adult, you might have discovered that the things that once brought you the greatest joy and sensuality into your life, such as children ad your career, no longer seem as important within your everyday life. Kids have grown up, you’re reaching the end of your career and you’re approaching retirement.
Not only that might you have more money for high quality vibrators guaranteed to bring sexual fulfilment and renewed intimacy. But you’ll also have a lot more time to spend with your partner. From there, personal relationships with your significant other will take on a renewed and meaningful role.
Sex and intimacy is deemed to be important in establishing that connection.
When you engage in sex and intimacy you might enjoy the following benefits
- Improvement of mental and physical health. Sex is a known fat burner and it causes the brain to release endorphins. These endorphins can aid in drastically reducing anxiety.
- Live Longer. Through the health benefits of an active and regular sex, a good sex life can add years to your life.
- Improve relationships. Sex is a chance to explore intimacy with a loved one and bring closeness.
- Give shelter. Sex gives you a chance to escape from the world and a place where you can focus on the person that you love the most.
Accept and Celebrate Who You Are
Sex isn’t the same as it was when you were young, but who said that that was a bad thing? When you’re older sex can be considered to be just as important and enjoyable as it was in your teens. If you’re sitting there wondering what things you have to enjoy and celebrate. Then we’ll help you out with this short list.
1. Enjoy the Benefits of Your Experience
With age comes independence, experience, and self-confidence.
All of these qualities can be deemed to very attractive to spouses or potential sexual partners. It doesn’t even matter what gender or sexuality that you are. You might find that you feel better and more confident about your body now than what you did at 22. And you’re certainly going to know a lot more about pleasuring it, what makes you excited and happy. This experience can enrich you are your partners sex life.
2. Look Ahead
Don’t try and put expectations on your sex life as you age.
Not only will that potentially set you up for disappointment, but you’ll be in a far different mind set than you would be if you just relaxed and let it go. Don’t dwell on your past experiences either, you’re not 20 anymore. There’s really no point reminiscing about how things were different back then, because that’ll also just lead to disappointment. Remain carefree with a positive attitude and look forward with an open mind.
3. Love and Embrace Who You Are
Your body will change as you age. You’re going to look and feel different. No need to despair.
If you can accept who you are as your older self your confidence will not only help you feel better. But it’ll also make you far more attractive. People are drawn to confidence.
4. Safe Sex
Just because you are now an older adult, doesn’t mean that you can throw the caution towards safe sex over your shoulder.
You need to be just as able to protect yourself from STI’s as you did when you were younger. Mature people in relationships are experiencing a higher prevalence of transmission of STI’s than ever before. You might not be able to get pregnant. But you’re still vulnerable to sexually transmitted illnesses. Protect yourself, and your sexual partners.
Communication
Just because your body is changing, doesn’t mean your relationship should change either.
As you age, it’s increasingly important to communicate with your partner not only about the changes in your body. But about listening to them speak about the changes in their body as well. It’s important to communicate your concerns, feelings, thoughts, fears and desires with your sexual partner.
If you’re considering bringing a sex toy into the bedroom to supplement sexual activity, then that should be spoken about. Maybe a lifelong fantasy and dream that you’d like to explore then that also should be spoken about.
Speaking about sex might not be the easiest of conversations
Because it can make us feel exceptionally vulnerable. You will discover that it not only becomes easier. But that the extra communication will create intimacy and closeness and take a lot of the pressure off of sex. End result, sex will become more pleasurable.
Once you start by opening up the conversation, it will get easier the more you talk.
One of the benefits of this kind of communication is that simply by talking about sex will make you feel more desirable and affectionate.
If you’re struggling, you might be able to utilize the following tactics.
-
Playfulness
Sex doesn’t have to be a serious conversation. Indeed, using a bit of humor and teasing can make the mood a lot better, physical closeness and touching might also be useful tactics to lighten the mood.
-
Honesty
How can you expect your partner to be honest and true to yourself if you’re holding back fears and concerns? Honesty will harbor feelings of trust and can ultimately help relax both partners. If you find that your partner is holding back a little, simply opening up with your own honesty might be enough to tip them over and open the floodgates.
-
New Ideas
Who says that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? If you’ve never used sexual aides, vibrators or masturbators before then discuss it with your partner if you think it’ll be beneficial. Don’t limit yourself to the old faithful classics. Be willing to try some of the newer and fun models of vibrators and sexual aides. Open to their ideas as well.
When you’re older, and have more time on your hands with fewer distractions, you’ll find that you’re living in an age that can be full of creativity, passion and intimacy.
-
Break the Past
You might be from a generation where talking about sex was done behind closed doors. It might be a taboo topic, or you might have been brought up thinking that it was dirty and never talked about. Speaking openly, and honestly, about your needs and desires will ultimately bring you closer.
It will help break free of the shackles that surround sex and sexuality and allow you to be in a place which celebrates sex and intimacy.
Intimacy and Physical Touch
Remember when you were young and innocent, and sex was about exploring. It was about touching, closeness and intimacy in amongst all that lust and passion.
You can still relive your good girl/good boy days in that regard and focus on the exploration, touching and intimacy. Good sex, regardless of age, is more than just about the physical act of penetration. It’s more than just an acknowledgement of lust, and it’s more than just sex.
People forget the intimacy side of it. As you get older and potentially develop health issues, or physical disabilities, the intimate aspect of sex and sexuality is often ignored or cast aside. Intimacy, the act of touching and caressing is an important part of the sexual experience. Forget about the ideas of what sex should be, and focus on the importance of physical contact.
Lengthen Your Experience
Sex isn’t about lust anymore.
You could start your romantic experience through dates and spending time together. You could visit the art gallery and open your mind to a new awareness through new experiences. Share your thoughts and develop intimacy that way. Enjoy a romantic brunch, dinner or even breakfast.
Spend the day sensually teasing each other on a date before engaging in love making. Write or read romantic and erotic literature to your partner. Having any of these experiences together. Whether that ends in love making or not, is an incredibly powerful way to renew the romance in your relationship and connect with your partner in profound ways.
Don’t be Shy
Let your partner know that you’re thinking of them. You might choose to demonstrate this by holding hands, or touching them throughout the day. Back this up by telling you partner why you love them, compliment them, and say nice things or make romantic gestures.
That’s not to say to overdo it, and flood them with compliments. But just a general idea will be helpful. If you’ve been talking about sex and new sexual experiences, you might also be inclined to share your thoughts regarding new experiences that you might like to do together. Whether this be through watching an erotic film together, trying new positions or places. Or to plan a naughty and cheeky weekend away together.
Relaxation
There are many activities that can help partners relax together.
It might be sitting side by side in the sun holding hands and reading a book. Could be a sensual massage or a bubble bath together. Relaxing together can be beneficial in the development of confidence and comfort. It can also help with age issues such as erectile dysfunction and dryness issues.
Sex and sexuality will take on new meanings
And a broader definition as we age. Opening up to the idea that sex can mean many things will help bring your together as a couple and expand your horizons.
Sex isn’t just about the intercourse, sex is about the experience. An experience which brings forth emotional pleasure, a pleasing of the senses, and an expression of the love of the relationship. Intercourse, in that regard, is but a small facet of sex and sexuality. A sense of touch, kissing, and other forms of intimate contact are just as rewarding, if not more so, than the physical act of intercourse.
With this in mind, it’s going to be normal that as you grow older together, you’re both going to have different abilities, needs and desires. There needs to be compromises in bringing the intimacy into a relationship. Although you might find that intercourse is less frequent than you would like, or used to have, there are other ways to express that closeness and love.
Find What Works for Each Other
You might not be a nationally recognized gymnast any more. And you might not be comfortable in the sexual positions that you are accustomed to. But that is no reason to just walk away.
You do not need to give up a pleasurable activity just because you can’t perform in the same way that you once could. If you do, not only will you be someone that’s denying themselves sexual pleasure. But you will be missing out on the closeness and intimacy towards your partner.
To give up on that, you might as well vow to never have sex again. Serves no real functional purpose. Sex as a mature couple or person, is not about recreating your sex life when you were young. Key is about finding out what’s going to work for you, your body and your partner now. And that might just mean a little creativity and inspiration.
Here’s some ideas that you might like to try, but do not be afraid of coming up with your own.
Experimenting
Have a look around for new sexual positions that you both find to be comfortable as well as pleasurable. During this search you’ll have to consider mobility and stamina in regards to the sexual position. For example, if you’re a male that’s suffering from erectile dysfunction, you could try a sexual position with your partner on top.
This position sees hardness as being less important.
Rethink Your Ideas of Sex
We’ve spoken about the idea that sex is more than just intercourse. Don’t forget to include intimacy through holding each other and snuggling, gentle and sensual touching, massages and kissing are all forms of sexual activities. Oral sex and mutual masturbation can also be fitting substitutes in the absence of intercourse.
Change your Routine
Especially useful if you are a person of habit. As you get older, your stamina and energy levels are going to decrease. Rather than engage in sexual activity after dark when the kids would have been put to bed, try having sexual activity at a different time of the day such as mornings, when your energy levels will be much higher than at the end of the day.
Foreplay
Essential with mature sexual activity as it may take the body longer to get aroused as it once did. Spend more time on romance, and building the event up. Romantic dinners, dancing, or any other form of romantic date to help set the mood, make sure that there’s plenty of extensive kissing and touching in this stage.
Playfulness
About being fun, and it’s about being cheeky. It’s an indication of not taking life too seriously. Playfulness is an important aspect of good sex at any age, but it can be especially useful for mature couples.
