MAKING A FAT RELATIONSHIP WORK
A Fat relationship comes in all shapes and sizes.
It might consist of two fat people. There might be one fat person in the relationship. They might be straight, lesbian, gay or bisexual or any other identity that they like. All have one thing in common – love and acceptance. Fat really has no definition. Aside from being larger than what is considered to be normal. This absence of normality is where a lot of the hate comes from in general society.
I’ve seen atrocious comments such as ‘They’re only settling for a fat person because they can’t find anyone else’. And that the idea of being in loving fat relationships is flattering because one of the partners is grateful for the sexual and physical attention.
Yeah, no.
These are fat-phobic comments
That completely disregard people’s feelings and emotions. Whilst it is impossible to deny that these relationships exist, the vast majority of them are built from love and affection.
If you were looking at intergenerational love, the same notion applies. Whilst one can’t deny gold-diggers, the vast majority of them will concern with genuine love and affection. And a passionate acceptance and embrace of the uniqueness of their partner.
In spite of this, you might be wondering about fat relationships. And how they survive despite the challenges associated with it as a result of social stigma and stereotypes.
Glad you asked.
In this article we’ll explore fat relationships. If you’re into fat people and want to engage in sexual activity, how you’ll go about doing that, as well as improving your relationship.
DON’T MAKE IT ALL ABOUT THE FAT
This is one of the most common mistakes made by admirers of fat, and that’s regardless of whether they identify as a chubby chaser or not.
A lot of fat people, particularly mature fat people, and women, will struggle with their identity as fully-fledged sexual beings. They might feel vulnerable, isolated or alone. It can be hard coming to terms with that acceptance of themselves and acknowledging their confident selves regardless of everything else.
From there, if someone displays interest in them, and the only interest is through the fetishization of their fat, it comes across as creepy. It’s in the same category as people who fetishize black people. And the ‘lover’ is only interested in their genitalia as opposed to their personality and worth as a human being. Comes across as creepy, weird and downright insulting.
Coming across in this mannerism is very unlikely to get you laid.
Loving, admiring and appreciating fat bodies is genuinely awesome.
But, if you’re a chubby chaser and your fat partner thinks that you’re more attracted to their fat than them as a person, it’s going to be problematic.
From this angle it’s going to come across as that they’re only a sexual tool to appease your fetish. That is depersonalizing and completely unromantic and unsexy. If you love their fat belly, make it clear that it’s not just any fat belly that you love. But that it’s their fat belly you’re attracted to. This subtle shift in mindset is going to do wonders for the relationship. And reaffirm your intimacy and love to each other as individuals, not as sexual tools.
It is an additional thing to point out, that you might be in love with a person. And you just aren’t quite sure about their fat or bodies. That is a very valid and real point that you can feel. But it is tricky to navigate through without hurting your sexual partner’s feelings.
You shouldn’t be afraid of physically touching your lover’s body and learning to accept and grow feelings through the sense of touch and intimacy.
SOME THINGS WILL WORK, OTHERS WON’T
Just like the general population, some people are flexible, some people are about as flexible as a steel dildo. Which is to say not at all flexible. But that is not to say that a steel dildo and someone that isn’t flexible don’t both have their positives.
Indeed I happen to love steel toys, and one of the reasons why I love steel sex toys is that they’re not flexible. I can find the same attributes in the partners that I sleep with. Whilst I admire flexibility, it’s not always necessary.
You’re trying to re-enact a Twisties chip and create a new sexual position. You have every reason (and are actively encouraged) to ask your partner whether or not that position is working for them or not. Accommodations can be made regardless of your bodies. Just as there is in life, for the purposes of sexual enjoyment.
You might find that you need some sex and bondage furniture. But you’ll need to be open and honest in the communication to work out what is best and suitable for you both. No point in deciding by yourself. Because for effective sex, there are two of you and both need to be consulted before any purchases are made.
It might also help to involve other people in the discussion.
By that we mean that there are a variety of sex blogs and fat websites out there that discuss all things fat and relationships. There might be a discussion about the specific issue that you’re having and how others have solved that issue.
Insecurities regarding sex and positioning are not just limited to fat people. But it’s important to note that the failure is part of the process. Without failure there is no chance to learn and grow as failing is an important part of the trial and error process.
When it comes to sex, relationships and all things life, you’ll have learned by now that not everything is going to work perfectly on the first time and every time. Through a relationship of love and affection though, what you can do is navigate through the challenges together. Keeping an open and honest mindset which will enhance the intimacy between you both.
BE MINDFUL OF YOUR PARTNER’S COMFORT ZONES
Without pushing boundaries there’s no room for growth.
There comes a time when you need to acknowledge personal boundaries and what can and can’t be pushed. Sex can be vulnerable, you’re naked, you’re exposed. If you or your partner have body image issues they need to be respected. For example one of you doesn’t like your thighs being squeezed – then that should be acknowledged.
By all means, that boundary can be nudged every now and then, or else the wall will never come down. But it needs to be done in a general and considerate manner. There’s zero need to force someone to engage in something that they’re simply not comfortable with.
At the same token, if your partner has expressed interest in being kissed in a certain spot, then you should embrace that spot, love it, and nurture it until satisfaction. It’s important to respect each other’s bodies during an incredibly vulnerable moment of the day.